For most of us, staying in a nice AirBnB means being lucky enough to get a house with two bathrooms, or a balcony, or like a really, really nice tub that you don’t have space for at home but would totally get if your landlord wasn’t so incredibly unchill and understood that renovations add property value that pays dividends forever. (Would be nice if they let you have a pet, too, but that’s a story for another day.)
Drake, Lady Gaga, and Kendrick Lamar aren’t most of us, though. And while fans spent Coachella glamping it up, the show’s biggest stars laid their heads on the finest pillows that $ 10,000 a night could buy! And because they are stars (which means that they can do whatever and still get five-star ratings, even though generally hosts will charge you $ 100 because you got two pieces of cat fur on a bed) AirBnB offered them their houses for free! Well, not exactly for free. Gaga and Co. did have to tweet about the homes on social media, but other than that, everything else was taken care of.
So what does a $ 10k AirBnB look like? Let’s take a short romp through the (figurative) castles that the festival’s headliners stayed at and think about ways that we too, could hone our artistic skills in order to become big enough to also be offered these types of trips for free.
Drake: Villa Grande Bellezza
According to Business Insider, this home, which is several hours away from Indio (so Drake did have to travel, although probably by helicopter and not by car), has everything. We’re talking piano bar, multi-level pool (that.is.a.thing), and even a home theater, which seats 11 people (do you even know 11 people? Bet Drake does) and, according to pics from the home-sharing site, plays Matt Damon films 24/7.
Before we get to this pictures of the bathroom, I gotta warn you: It is the best bathroom you have ever seen in your life. Not only does it have a luxurious tub, but it’s got more room than bath. It’s so spacious — like a Brooklyn apartment for three, at least — that it should be called a roombath because the whole “get yourself clean here” thing is secondary to the embarrassing amount of space this glorious baño affords:
Look at those sinks, friend; now look again: They’re not sinks! They’re dressers! The roombath is so big that you can’t even fit the sinks in the picture!
Lady Gaga: Rancho Mirage getaway
Though Drake’s rental (he refers to it as a gift, and I’d like to imagine he actually believes he owns the house now because he’s a nice guy and it gave him good vibes) is opulent, Mother Monster’s home-away-from-home (which also runs $ 10,000 a night and is much closer to the festival) is a literal compound that looks like something that the artist’s American Horror Story character (the countess, not that weird earth witch) would have no trouble becoming adjusted to.
Here are just some things you will find within the hallowed halls of this rental: A ginormous kitchen, a ginormous pool, and a ginormous bathtub that’s probably the size of your bed. If you don’t think that Lady Gaga took selfies of herself emerging from the hot steamy depths of the tub while wearing nothing but a leotard made out of ethical diamonds, then you have another think coming.
Kendrick Lamar: $ 1,800 a night gets you a tennis court
If you think you need to be hella rich in order to party like the stars do, then here’s some good news: You only need to be rich enough to afford $ 1,800 a night before taxes and cleaning fees to live like Kendrick Lamar. The rapper’s Rancho Mirage home may come at a much more modest price point than Gaga and Drizzy’s “gifts,” but it’s got one thing no AirBnB you’ve ever stayed at has: A private tennis court. Welcome to Kendrick’s crib. Check out the inside.
WHAT DOES THIS BATHROOM CHAIR DO?
You can check out more pics over at Business Insider, but I suggest holding off for a while… unless your jealousy doesn’t take on a physical form that manifests in you casually biting the insides of your cheeks to bits, like some people we know.