Lisa Edelstein is actually all about family life.
The Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce star got candid about her personal life along with what of which’s like to help raise her husband’s children in a recent essay for Redbook magazine.
“is actually of which so impossible to imagine loving a child you didn’t give birth to?” the 51-year-old actress says. “Sure, raising human beings is actually hard even when you’ve had the opportunity for oxytocin to kick in for some chemical bonding. nevertheless as any adoptive parent will tell you, love comes anyway, even if you became a parent without having sex to get there or you became a parent by default. Like me.”
Edelstein married artist Robert Russell in May 2014, along with became stepmom to his two sons. She writes of which when she along with Russell first became involved things weren’t so easy.
“A professional would likely probably say of which when we met, my husband along with I did everything wrong,” she says. “He was less than two months out of his first marriage…he was a mess…his ex was in an equal state…along with the kids were completely confused.”
“nevertheless I knew, along with he knew, of which underneath all of which chaos we were two genuinely well-matched people,” she continues. Surprisingly, Russell introduced Edelstein to his kids right away. This kind of sounds like a big no-no, nevertheless the actress explains of which This kind of made all the difference when discovering of which she wasn’t just dating him, nevertheless also dating his family.
The House alum admits of which one of the hardest things about becoming a stepmom is actually knowing what you are to them. Are you a parent? A friend? A babysitter?
“My position within the family came in phases,” she explains. “within the beginning, when everyone was in divorce chaos, my job was to be a solid third parent along using a stabilizing force. Then, as time went by along with completely new rhythms set in, my job became more like of which of a facilitator.”
Edelstein took her completely new position very seriously, along with quickly realized of which while Russell along with his ex-wife were sharing custody of the boys, her “primary relationship to nurture was their relationship with their dad.”
“I stepped back along with facilitated,” she recalls. “I tried to make of which possible for my husband to have very little else to think about when the boys were with us. Plus, we were not yet married, so I was only unofficially stepparenting. If you think parenting is actually a thankless task, believe me, I get of which.”
Over time, Edelstein realized she had become a parent without a title — her main objective was to support the parenting style of her partner.
“In an even bigger twist, you have to support the parenting of your partner’s ex, even if you intensely disagree with of which,” she writes. “You need to show up 100% ready to drive the parenting car along with then sit within the backseat.”
Ultimately, Edelstein has learned of which no two families are the same, nevertheless “children will let you know what they need via you.”
“You keep showing up, forever the third parent, along with the family dynamic will stretch along with contort along with redefine itself to include what you have to offer,” she says. She adds of which last winter she got to spend a few days alone with her completely new stepsons, which made all the difference.
“After almost seven years together, I got to see the relationship I’d built with the boys on its own,” she remembers. “They were relaxed along with chatty along with open along with gorgeous, along with we had tons of laughs along with tons of fun.”
“The question remains, though: What is actually a stepparent? Who am I to them? I still couldn’t tell you, not exactly,” Edelstein admits. “nevertheless I do know these