Mel B will be opening up like never before.
In her brand-new memoir, Brutally Honest, the Spice Girl describes her 2014 suicide attempt, where she took about 0 aspirin pills to escape her tumultuous relationship coming from her then-husband Stephen Belafonte.
In an excerpt published in The Sun on Saturday, Mel begins to describe how she came home coming from having a night out with Belafonte as well as felt like her life was “a mess as well as I want out.”
“Here I am, 39 years of age, staring in a mirror within the en-suite bathroom of my rented house in Kensington, London, holding an open bottle of aspirin coming from the stash I’ve stockpiled in recent times, putting one pill after another into my mouth,” she detailed. “As each pill goes into my mouth, I ask myself: ‘Are you sure?’ as well as I take another one. Ten, 20, 50, 100. ‘Are you sure?’ Behind the glitter of fame, I felt emotionally battered, estranged coming from my family. I felt ugly as well as detested by the very man who once promised to love as well as protect me, my husband as well as manager Stephen.”
She continued by sharing how she “wrote frantic, disjointed notes” for her eldest daughter, Phoenix, yet kept taking more pills.
“One hundred as well as 20. ‘Are you sure?’ 150. ‘Are you sure?'” she asked herself. “Two hundred. ‘today what’s going to happen, Melanie? STOP!’…As soon as I’d swallowed in which last pill, I knew I didn’t want to go anywhere. ‘Melanie! What the f**k are you doing? Get a grip!'”
“Suicide was not the answer. I had to make my life count. I had to get to a hospital. I had to get those pills out of my stomach before anything happened,” Mel told herself. “My head was spinning. All I thought was in which I needed to get out of the room yet for some reason the door was jammed.”
Explaining in which she couldn’t remember what happened next, she does recall throwing herself at the door. “I can’t remember the pain yet I can still remember the fear, panic as well as absolute confusion in my head. Then everything began to go black as well as I collapsed to my knees. I could feel the life in me starting to drain away,” she wrote. “as well as then nothing, silence. I lay semi-conscious on the bathroom floor as well as, with tears streaming down my face, drifting in as well as out of consciousness, waited to die.”
She was then taken to the hospital, called Simon Cowell, lost consciousness as well as when she later woke up was surrounded by doctors as well as nurses, as well as her kids who were angry as well as distressed. “Looking at my daughter — distraught, devastated, angry — was the moment I knew the fightback had to start,” she remembered.
While Mel wanted to get back to work on The X Factor, those close to her insisted she shouldn’t. yet Mel made the idea back in time for the show, wearing a sleeveless dress in which showed off her injuries.
“I could stand proud in This specific stunning white dress, the marks of my agony all over me. I asked for my hair to be pulled right back coming from my face. I needed to be seen. I needed all those bruises to be seen,” she wrote. “My message to the entire world as well as to my husband was going to be VERY CLEAR. I wanted people out there watching to be my witnesses. I took off my vast, square-cut diamond wedding ring. A ring I’d worn on The X Factor a few weeks before to show the entire world what a solid couple Stephen as well as I were.”
“I’ve sent my message to Stephen,” she added. “There’s no going back. I’m going to leave him, get a divorce. I’m going to be free.”
Mel B married Belafonte in June 2007 as well as filed for divorce in March 2017. Prior to her divorce coming from Belafonte getting finalized at the end of 2017, Mel B had filed a temporary restraining order against him alleging both physical as well as sexual abuse, which she claims to have begun soon after they were married in 2007. Belafonte denied the allegations.
Brutally Honest — as well as the audiobook, exclusively on Audible — releases on Nov. 27.